Being able to provide a safe space to encourage people to learn and grow is what really gives me fulfilment. It wasn’t always like this, I would regularly feel frustrated in my old job, not really clear on why I would feel that way. It was there though, showing up on a weekly basis. I put it down to tiredness. It wasn’t that though!
Now I’ve learnt Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) I can now understand where that frustration was coming from. It was coming from a place inside where I was looking externally for validation of my worth. My self worth was so low that I couldn’t internally validate myself, the work I did, the value I would add or how I felt about myself.
The sign I was looking for
I knew that I wasn’t happy, I had an inner voice which would scream – you can do more than this, you can help more people, you can feel more aligned to you if you make a decision based on what you want, instead of focusing on what I didn’t want. I didn’t want to stay, I wanted to go and I looked for a sign. I found it, a post on social media advertising an NLP course with a picture of a robin. I always associate robins with my mum, that was what I was looking for. I took the leap, trusting that my best was yet to come and I left a 22 year career.
How robins can show up on our path, at just the right moment.
Delivering training is a huge part of my service offering and the content I choose to deliver comes from an authentic place. A place that I’ve felt the effect of not knowing, I’ve felt the effect of managers not being taught this and it really matters if you are helping people to understand how people operate.
Not being taught how to look after yourself when your self worth and self esteem are low, when people pleasing is so ingrained in how you operate that looking after others first is just a part of your make up. This was causing my mental health issue and is where an intervention was required. I learnt that this coping strategy was about self protection and I had adopted this, at a young age when I felt unresourceful. I wasn’t mature enough to know this or to communicate this. It was meeting my needs of feeling worthy so it’s how I operated for years. This was when I really started to be curious and know myself on a deeper level and this helped to be able to set better boundaries.
Another sign
People pleasing is learnt behaviour and it comes when you felt you needed to put others first to be liked, to feel valued, to be accepted, to feel loved. It’s how you learnt to feel important, to feel heard and seen. I didn’t know how to look after myself, I was still putting others first when I hit rock bottom with my own mental health and I had nothing left in me. I remember my friend saying to me at that time, you can’t pour from an empty cup. This was another sign, I had been pouring from an empty cup for years and I had no clue that I was doing this. I was ready to change this and this has stuck with me ever since and I regularly use this in my coaching. I realised that people were only taking what I was willing to give and what needed to change was within me. I needed to have boundaries, not something that’s easy if you’ve never been taught that.
You can’t pour from an empty cup, I had been trying and failing for years!
This all contributed to my mental health and ultimately reaching a stage of burnout which took months to recover. I was exhausted, I had chronic pain in my lower back and I was struggling to keep it all together. I would often find that I was emotionally projecting, even when it wasn’t warranted. My kids were walking on eggshells. That is what instigated the change. Something waking up inside of me that there had to be a better way.
I’ve spent the last 2 and a half years recovering and re-training, testing my tools, knowledge and experience and applying it to myself. I’ve been coached and coached others and now I’m ready to teach you!
I use my own experiences to bring my content to life. This has all happened to me and now I can use this to really bring to life how this has an impact. I wasn’t in a good place when I left my job, yes I was curious and excited to think about my new path. I was also scared of figuring it out on my own and with no income, I was living permanently in a state of fear and it was showing in my emotional, mental and physical health.
What I did was invest in myself and I did this by learning NLP. The BEST courses I’ve ever learnt and I’ve done a lot of training whilst working in corporate.
These courses opened my eyes as to how I was living my life and the effect that this was having on my mental state and my physical body. This also impacted on my parenting, being in a stressed state was not how I wanted to parent my children.
I have progressed to become a Certified NLP Trainer, to be able to bring this to life alongside the much needed preventative work to understand the impact of living with FEAR energy. Fear energy is showing up as anxiety, stress, panic and by living with this energy long term, it affects your mental state, how much stress you can cope with, how close you are to emotional outburst and how this manifests in your physical body as pain. It also shows up when you don’t even know you are in a stressed state – that’s the scary part. It was attached to my personal values, 6 out of my top 10 values had fear energy attached to them. That’s what needed to change for me to feel different inside. The fizzy energy was something I’ve lived with thinking it’s normal, yeah it really isn’t!
Susan is certified as an ABNLP Trainer of NLP
Sound familiar?
I had chronic back pain for 15 years, on and off, it would come and go. It was an internal conflict of fear that I kept reliving, over and over, which is why the pain would come and go. I finally worked this through with my NLP skills and it has completely gone. Now I want to teach them to you.
I’m so invested in helping you to thrive and to be the best version of you. You can’t be that version, living in FEAR energy.
If you are interested in learning how to look after yourself and put you first then get in touch. My NLP courses are for you!
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